Threats, lies and bribery: parenting a threenager

I never wanted to be ‘that’ parent. The one who yells. The one who loses her temper. The one who hisses “Shut up! Shut up!” in the middle of the night. The one who gets so frustrated she needs to scream into a pillow to release some of the tension.

But it’s happening. It’s happened. The threenager is winning.

The threenager is displeased with something

She is manipulative. She is stubborn.

She is doing my head in…

I know she doesn’t really understand what she’s doing. I know she’s testing boundaries, and learning where the line is. And yes, I know she’s just being three. But for FFS she is hard work!

My kingdom for a shower

How did you spend your night? I spent mine boiling the kettle 37 times to fill up a bath for D after football. This really must be love.

Our effing hot water system has died and, as renters, we are at the mercy of our real estate agent and their contracted plumber to sort it out. Even though I called and emailed the real estate agent at 9am on the dot to request an urgent repair, they didn’t send a plumber out to the house to have a look until after 4pm. And then, of course, the useless plumber couldn’t fix it, and needed to call someone else to come and assess it. Tomorrow, obviously, as it was well past 5pm before he figured out he couldn't fix it. So now I have to go into the office tomorrow, having not had a shower in three days. Thank goodness for max strength deodorant and dry shampoo is all I can say. I’m sure my colleagues feel the same way.

The kids don’t care about being clean, so they’re OK with this new no-bath arrangement, and, to be honest, there’s nothing a packet of baby wipes can’t clean off those two (as long as I'm not serving spag bol for dinner). But there was no way D was getting into our bed after a sweaty game of over 35’s football (soccer) without some kind of ablution. Bless him, he did ask if I wanted to use the leftover lukewarm bath water after him, but, as much as I love him, sharing recycled bath water is not on my list of things to do as a married couple. 

If the hot water is not fixed by tomorrow evening I might need to start knocking on the neighbours’ doors with my towel and shower puff in hand. That’s one way to get to know them better I suppose ;)

To my darling Little Miss, on your third birthday

Today is your third birthday, my darling. I can’t believe it’s already been three years since you arrived into our lives, although it also feels like you’ve been here forever. I guess in some ways you have; I’ve been hoping and dreaming I would have a little girl of my own since I was a little girl myself. You make your dad and I so happy - you and your brother have filled a void in our lives we didn’t even know was there. Our life before you seems so empty and meaningless, and while I miss the sleep-ins and impromptu nights out, your cheeky smile lighting up the room every morning makes up for it all.

I love you so much, my darling girl. I love the way you are so kind and gentle with your brother (most of the time), and work so hard to make him smile when he’s upset. I love the way you watch everything that is going on, and I see your brain ticking, trying to work things out. I love the way you look at your dad with delight when he’s being silly, and I love the way your face lights up when you see me from across the room. I love your crazy dancing and the way you love to bounce. I love the way you get such a kick out of making people laugh, just like your dad. I love it when you get the giggles. I love how you practice pronouncing new words, and are so proud of yourself when you get it right. I love how you love to read books, and that ‘one more story’ is never enough.

I hope I can teach you to be patient and kind to everyone, most importantly yourself. I hope I can teach you to love yourself, no matter what, and to avoid the negative self-talk that can be so crippling. I hope I can help you to become brave and confident and strong, and to follow your dreams. I hope I can give you enough knowledge to make good choices, but also feel safe to ask for help when you need it. I hope that you find someone to share your life with, who treasures everything about you and loves you completely, like your dad and I love each other.

I know we won’t always see eye to eye, and I know that sometimes we’ll argue. I know it’s highly likely that at some point, you’ll even say you hate me. But I hope you‘ll always know that you can talk to me, you can tell me anything, and you can always ask me for help. I promise to never say I told you so. I promise to never turn my back on you. I promise to love and protect you with everything I have.

You are my sunshine on a rainy day, my darling girl, my sweet princess. 

Happy birthday my love.