Like most
mums, I often find the most ridiculous things coming out of my mouth in
response to something my kids have said or done.
Like "please don’t put the turtle in the toilet..."
It was too late, by the way, the poor turtle was already in the toilet when I said it.
Like "please don’t put the turtle in the toilet..."
It was too late, by the way, the poor turtle was already in the toilet when I said it.
“Look
mumma, ‘wimming.”
Yes darling, very clever, the turtle is
swimming. In my toilet.
"Toilets aren't for turtles. Toilets are just for people."
"Toilets aren't for turtles. Toilets are just for people."
Fortunately
(or unfortunately, however you’d like to look at it), we have a pair of ‘toilet
tongs’ for these very occasions.
Here are a
few surprising things that have come out of my mouth recently.
Please don’t put THAT
in THERE
This one is
regularly used around our house, where THAT and THERE can be any number of
things. Please don’t put the baby in the pantry. Please don’t put your finger
in your nose. Please don’t put your finger in HIS nose. Please don’t put your
sandwich in my handbag. Turtles in toilets. You get the idea. There are absolutely
endless variations of this one.
We don’t eat our
dinner with our feet
I don’t
care how flexible you are my sweet, you’re not eating noodles with your toes.
Yes, I know you can, but that doesn’t mean you should.
Yes, I think she
probably is wearing undies
When Little
Miss first started toilet training she was obsessed with undies, and wanted to check
that everyone was wearing them. I’d see her size people up in the most random
of places, looking at them suspiciously, then her little voice would pipe up and
ask “She got undies on?” causing me no end of embarrassment. She asked the
woman at the supermarket checkout, the bus driver, various neighbours, even our
doctor was quizzed about her underpants situation.
You can’t have any ice
cream until you finish your fish and chips
Oh dear,
what happened to my imagined life of homemade everything and
no refined sugar??? Please eat all of your savoury junk food before you eat
your sweet junk food. Big #Mummyfail for this one.
Wow, that is the best
poo I’ve ever seen!
Toilet
training does strange things to parents, I can’t even begin to explain it. Positive reinforcement reaches new heights!
No, he doesn’t have a
baby in his tummy
Oh god,
kill me now!!
What surprising things have you said to your kids lately?
Any turtles in your toilet?
Any turtles in your toilet?
